Jealous much? Why yes, yes I am | Alexia's Books and Such: Jealous much? Why yes, yes I am

“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.” ~ Mark Twain

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Jealous much? Why yes, yes I am

Jealous much? Why yes, yes I am | Alexia's Books and Such
After a rough start at the beginning of my blogging journey, the green-eyed monster and I came to an agreement of sorts. I acknowledged that I would never be a so-called "big" blogger with a Book Fairy sending me boxes full of ARCs each month, and he acknowledged that I was no fun so agreed to leave me alone.

He lied.

Most of the time, he leaves me be. Then I'll log onto one of the blogging groups I belong to and see something like:

"I'm only getting 1.000 pageviews a day. I've been blogging since January, so shouldn't I have 5K or more by now?"

or

"I've only got 20,000 likes on my Facebook page. It's been 6 months already, so please tell me what I'm doing wrong?" 

Oh no she di-int - lolcats.com

This drives me crazy and, I admit, turns me into the She-Hulk of Jealousy. I've been blogging close to six years and I'm nowhere near those numbers! How come they're so popular so quickly? What's wrong with my blog? Why don't people like me? 

Then I take a deep breath, remind myself that I'm happy in my own little corner with my own little chair, and get over it.

I envy people who don't get jealous | Alexia's Books and Such

When I see comments like that, it's hard not to feel a twinge of envy. I know I could increase my numbers by hosting contests with a follow requirement, but I don't want those type of followers. Who wants inflated numbers with followers who never visit? I want people who will stop by, read my posts, and maybe leave a comment saying hello.

Would 20,000 followers be awesome? Of course it would! But I'm realistic enough to know that it's not going to happen because I don't want to put that much work into my blog. I want to keep it fun! And honestly? I would probably freak out if I ever got that big,,,

So let me pull on my big girl panties and banish that lying green-eyed cretin back where he belongs! I'll do my best to stop being jealous of these bloggers and use them as inspiration instead!

I will not be jealous of strong amazing women! Much... | Alexia's Books and Such

Please tell me I'm not the only one tormented occasionally by the grass being greener on the other side of the blogosphere? I'm not trolling for sympathy, just want to know that I'm not alone in battling blogger-envy!

38 comments:

  1. I'm with you... sometimes. I can't help but think how nice it would be to have publishers sending me free books. Think of the money it would save. But as for followers...I don't want a lot. I can't keep up with it all. Plus the bloggers that have that many followers are boring. All they read read is new stuff. They love everything and they never comment or visit my blog when I say something on theirs so what's the fun in that? They never have discussions or personal stuff and they might as well be computers. But I'm starting to sound a little green eyed so I'll shutup. I'm happy with my small following and my little blog. Even if I do have to pay for my books. Sigh!

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    1. You're right, the bigger blogs do tend to do nothing but gush about the new books. I wonder if they feel pressure to do so by receiving all those free books? Although a Book Fairy would be nice! Maybe she could join forces with the Birthday Fairy? lol

      I think I'd rather pay for my own books too so I can be totally honest in my review than feel pressure to gush even if I didn't really like it.

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  2. Did Blogger eat my comment? I know I commented earlier, but I wonder if it didn't take it. Hmmm. Come to think of it, I think there were several comments on here. Did they all get eaten too?

    I said that I think it's human nature for us to get jealous sometimes. I've been blogging for nearly 8 years and I average about 100 views a day. I know that's a lot to some and I'm happy about it, but it's also not a lot to the bigger blogs. It's chump change. I used to get jealous, but I don't let it bother me anymore, all though it was rear its head once in a while. I just try to blog because I enjoy it.

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    1. Looks like Blogger ate several comments for some reason. Going to remove IntenseDebate entirely, then try and figure out if I can recover the other comments.

      Impressed you've been blogging for 8 years! I find it hard to believe it's been almost 6 years for me, as time really has flown by! Oh the things we've seen....ha!

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  3. I think of blogging as the way I'm making connections, meeting people who love to read as much as I do (and oh, that's really so rare in my real life!). So I hardly ever look at my stats. What I love the most are the conversations, and connecting with people who love books the way I do.

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    1. I love the conversations too, as I haven't found anyone IRL who love the same kind of books I do. I know that I shouldn't look at my stats, but it's hard sometimes. I try to only look once a month, but I'm weak...ha!

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  4. No you're definitely not alone in that. I did a post a while back called the insecure blogger and that was one of my things. It's hard to just do your thing and not compare especially when some blogs seem to blow up like that. But a lot of those blogs have probably also purchased those likes or do constant giveaways and those are the only times people interact with them. Like you said. Who would want that?!!

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    1. Wow! People actually purchase likes? What's the point, as you know they don't really like you and will never visit. Seems a little sad. Thanks Anna, as I feel better now!

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  5. I think numbers are very arbitrary. It's the people who are connecting with you and connecting with your blog that mean something. Engagement is what pubs should look at. People who come back are people who trust your judgment and recommendations, you know?

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    1. You're right that the connection is what's really important. I wish publishers weren't so hung up on stats, then maybe bloggers wouldn't be so number hungry? The grass always seems greener, doesn't it? *sigh*

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  6. **Reclaimed Comment 4/8/15***

    Great post! I sometimes get jealous too, but then I remind myself that in order to get those kinds of page views I would have to a lot more work than I'm willing to put into it. I don't ever want this to become a job (I already have one of those!).

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    1. That's one of the things that helps keep the jealousy at bay - I don't want to have to work that hard! Blogging is a fun hobby for me, and I want to keep it that way!

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  7. **Reclaimed Comment 4/8/15***

    I love this post! I think every blogger will get a little jealous sometimes. I know I do. But I just try to keep in mind that I love blogging and that's the point right!? Jealousy is a part of life and I think it makes people also motivated to do the best they can.
    Six years of blogging, that's something to be very proud of! ;)

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    1. Sometimes it's hard to fight off that green-eyed monster, but I'm trying to be motivated by others success instead of jealous. Usually that works, but I slip every now and again.

      Hard to believe it's been almost six years already! Time flies when you're having fun! :)

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  8. **Reclaimed Comment 4/8/15***

    I've been blogging for nearly 8 years and I only average about 100 views per day. I've decided I'm happy with that. But, like you said, every once in a while the green-eyed monster rears up inside me and I have to take it by the horns and tell it to go away. I think it's human nature to be jealous sometimes. It's what we do with it that counts.

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    1. Eight years is amazing, Jenni! Things have really changed in that time, haven't they? Mostly good changes, but some just meh changes as well. Getting 100 views a day would be awesome! Going to make that my goal, as I like nice, round numbers like that. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. :)

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  9. **Reclaimed Comment 4/8/15***

    I don't think I feel envious but more like what am I doing wrong? I've been blogging for years!! And yes, I've read every advice and tip but I don't reach those numbers either. Some people even make money blogging!!! Honestly, I didn't care a lot about that because I had a job and my blogs were like a hobby, but I've wondered how people do it? Specially now that I don't have a regular job... If you discover that secret, let me know please hehe

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    1. I know! It's tough when you read all the tips, follow all the advice, but get little to no results. Tell you what, I'll let you know if I ever discover the secret if you do the same? We'll be rich! lol

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  10. **Reclaimed Comment 4/8/15***

    First, out of the 20,000 how many really read the content. They are only numbers. I also don't run my blog as a business but as a hobby. I've decided that is all I want out of it so the numbers I have is satisfactory. I think putting it in the correct perspective is key. BTW, I also think those people are humblebragging. Really they are patting themselves on the back. :)

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    1. I know that they're probably exaggerating their numbers, but love the term "humblebragging" and need to remember that! And you're right, they probably aren't engaging much with their followers as how many really come back after signing up for a contest? Most of the time, I'm fine. But every now and again....She-Hulk jealous!!! lol

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  11. I have totally had these feelings before but I really try to curb them. Even though it would be nice to have a ton of followers and boxes of books sent to me, it's also a lot of responsibility. I like having the freedom to post what I want and not always be subject to ARC schedules and such. It's hard not to feel jealous when others boast of crazy numbers, but I try to remember why I blog and not let those feelings overwhelm me.

    fishgirl182 @ nite lite

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    1. Good point! Last month, I read only books from my TBR pile and it was so relaxing and fun! No pressure to read and review a title by a certain date, so no responsibilities! Loved it! I'm usually able to curb those jealous thoughts, but every now and again, they get the best of me...

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  12. I feel you. I assume everyone, at some point, gets jealous about something. Like, even the biggest bloggers- maybe they need a break, and feel overwhelmed? I don't know, I guess the grass is always greener. But I do agree. I see people opening their literal stacks of books, and I can't lie, I wish it was me! Not that I wish it wasn't them, I just wish it was me too! It's hard, because it does seem sometimes that publishers sending books is a sign of growth, that you're doing something right, which is why it stings when that stuff doesn't happen. You wonder what you could be doing more/less of!

    Also, unrelated to book blogging, but I had joined a mom blogging group awhile ago, and the bragging about followers was absurd. I was convinced that those people joined those groups just to throw out follower counts. And honestly, most of their content was sponsors and giveaways- nothing real or from the heart. So how many of those "followers" were legit? Few to none. I'd rather 10 real followers than 100 who don't care- most days, anyway ;)

    Great post- very honest!
    Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight

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    1. Thanks Shannon! And I know exactly what you mean! I don't want to take anything away from anyone, I just wish their Book Fairy would include me when mailing out boxes full of goodness!

      Looking back, most of the bragging I'm seeing is from non-book blogs so maybe that has something to do with it? But like you said, I'd rather have 10 engaged followers than 100 who never come back. Love talking books with my tribe! :)

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  13. This is so true. It's almost impossible not to let the green-eyed monster out every once in a while. For me, the publisher recognition is a big one. I just finally got onto Penguin's radar and I was so excited. One hint (at least I think this is what made the difference) - I found that submitting a review on NetGalley or Edelweiss really early (like a month or two ahead of time) gives the publisher enough time to ask you to be part of a tour. I just give them a preview link to the actual post and say it will be posted on such and such a date. That's how I got my Penguin contact - and now they occasionally contact me for other things! (We'll see how this pans out in the future, but I just thought I'd share since it seemed like it kind of worked).

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

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    1. Congrats on getting noticed by Penguin! That's huge! Good idea about posting your review to NetGalley early. I always thought I had to wait until the book came out and only recently started leaving feedback earlier. Will start leaving even earlier feedback and see how that pans out. Thanks for the tip! :)

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  14. Ha! 1,000 a day?! I'm lucky if I get 1,000 a month. I think I hit that number once... in the four years I've been blogging and that was because of Bloggiesta last month. I do tend to get a teensy bit jealous when bloggers get a ton of ARC's and they are all unsolicited and I'm over here salivating for that book. I don't know how they do it. I have a collective of like 4,000 followers between social media networks and what have you but only a handful ever actually stop by or interact with me. So, although the numbers are nice to be able to show to publishers when I request a book for review, they mean squat to me because I'm usually over on my blog going, "Bueller.... Bueller... Bueller..."

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    1. I've noticed that things like Bloggiesta really help my traffic, so too bad that's not a weekly event! ha! And yeah, I've had those Bueller moments too! :)

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  15. I loved this post! Thanks for opening up and putting yourself out there! I struggle with this issue on occasion as well, but I remind myself that I don't want my blog to consume my life. I read for pleasure and want to share that joy with others. I'm only 6 months in on my blogging journey and my stats are low, but I am enjoying it. I love the connections I'm making that I wouldn't have made otherwise.

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    1. Thanks Lisa! It's hard not to get jealous every now and again, but I'm getting a little better at fending off the green-eyed monster!

      Congrats on your 6 month blogoversary! Most new blogs seem to fail after 3 months, so you're doing great!

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  16. Oh my! I am so with you. I try to use my jealousy as motivation. Sometimes it is defeating and I have to take a break and take stock. I have four kids and I have not been book blogging long enough to have those numbers. I have recently branched out into booktube and a contest I had set up to help nab subscribers has gained me exactly zero so far. Why am I doing this, because I love it still. I have no one irl to talk to about books. So what if no one watches/.likes/ reads / subscribes. I get to do what I love and get free books in the process. You are not alone!
    Great post!

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    1. You're right Karen, it comes down to doing something we love!

      I've been hearing about booktube lately, so really need to look into it and figure out what it is exactly. Is it vlogging? Because that's a no-go for me. Hate the sound of my voice on tape! Stinks that you haven't gotten any entries yet, but once the word gets out I bet you'll have a ton! Good luck!

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    2. BookTube is everything bookish, but instead of blogging, it is on YouTube. Yea, it is video reviews and book tags, and rants, and discussions, top 10s and everything else. I am sporadic about making videos, I like variety.

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    3. Sounds intriguing! I'm not ready for prime time, but love to watch others!

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  17. I stopped caring years ago. I think even if I stopped getting any hits, I would still continue to do this, even if it's was only to give myself an outlet.

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    1. Every time I think I've stopped caring, I get hit by a wave of jealousy. I'm usually happy to keep chugging along, talking about books, visiting my friends, but every so often....BAM! Blogger envy hits! :(

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  18. I've been there myself, yes. Many times. It's not hard to feel like all your effort is being ignored while others' haven't paid the "dues of time spent" by doing it for years and having better numbers.

    I just have to remind myself that the reason I got into this was because I love books and wanted to talk about them with others who love them as much as I do. Simple as that. So as long as I'm still living up to that, I have to be happy. :-)

    Shannon @ The Tale Temptress April Discussion

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    1. So true! When I first started, I had no idea that there were so many other book bloggers out there. Most of the time I'm perfectly content, but every now and then....watch out! lol

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